Chief Financial Officer
Michael B. Catastrophe
Ex-Lehman intern. Still describes 2008 as “a learning experience.”
$WORST
The futureof bad decisions.
WORST is a community experiment for people who know it’s a terrible idea — and do it anyway.
- 0
- Utility
- 0
- Roadmap Certainty
- 100%
- Irresponsibility
- Audited internally. Unfortunately.
- −∞
- Accountability
02About WORST
A coin that admitsit’s the worst.
WORST isn’t here to change finance.
It isn’t building the future.
It isn’t disrupting anything.
It’s here for the bad entries, the round trips, the “I should have sold” screenshots, the 3 A.M. buys, and every terrible decision in between.
We’re building crypto’s most honest community.
We have no idea how this ends.
03Our Approach
Built different.Unfortunately.
01
Radical Transparency
Other projects pretend they know what they’re doing. We don’t.
02
Negative Innovation
We proudly solve problems that never existed.
03
Community First
Primarily because management is unavailable.
04
Long-Term Thinking
Approximately 15 minutes at a time.
04Tokenomics
Numbers.Some of them real.
1,000,000,000
Total Supply
0%
Inherent Value
100%
Community Trauma
∞
Potential Bad Decisions
Allocation
Illustrative distribution. Values below are placeholders and subject to revision.
Community & Chaos55%
Liquidity25%
Treasury (unsupervised)10%
Team (regrettably)10%
Tokenomics are subject to change based on market conditions, poor judgment, lunar cycles, and whether anyone remembers the multisig password.
05Leadership
The WORST Team
Experience you definitely shouldn’t trust.
Head of Operations
Evan “Exit Liquidity” K.
Specialized in ensuring everything works right up until it doesn’t.
Chief Executive Officer
Samuel Bagholder
Visionary. Disruptor. Repeatedly muted in Telegram.
Chief Marketing Officer
Richard “Roundtrip” Jones
Has successfully turned several winning trades into losing trades.
As not seen on
ForbesCoinDeskYahooBloombergThe New York Times
The above outlets have not covered WORST. Logos rendered as plain text for exactly that reason. This strip is parody.
06RoadmapRoad? Map?
No promises.Just possibilities.
- Phase 01Done
Launch a coin.
(any coin)
- Phase 02Eventually
Get listed everywhere.
(not even close)
- Phase 03Q2 20??
World domination.
(probably never)
- Phase 04TBA
Tier-1 CEX listing.
(in our dreams)
- Phase 05∞
Make losing great again.
(forever)
07Buy WORST
Become part ofthe problem.
It’s easy. Losing money has never been more convenient.
01
Get a wallet.
Use whatever wallet supports the actual chain.
02
Get some crypto.
An important prerequisite to immediately exchanging it for something worse.
03
Swap for $WORST.
Review the transaction. Question your life choices. Confirm.
Trading links activate once a verified contract is published. Until then these buttons are intentionally inert. Never trust a “contract address” that isn’t announced through official channels.
Official Details
ChainNot yet configured
Token AddressNot yet configured
Swap URLNot yet configured
Chart URLNot yet configured
08Performance
Deliveringshareholder disappointment.
ExpectationsReality
LaunchNow
Figures unaudited because we were afraid to look.
-84%
Investor Confidence
+312%
Coping
97
“We’re so back” messages
98
“It’s over” messages
09Partnerships
Backed byno one yet.
We approached the industry’s most respected institutions, protocols, and market makers. Every one of them said no. We remain grateful for the clarity.
Prospective Partners6 contacted — 0 secured
Prospect 01
Identity withheld
Declined
Prospect 02
Identity withheld
No response
Prospect 03
Identity withheld
Under review · 14 months
Prospect 04
Identity withheld
Referred us elsewhere
Prospect 05
Identity withheld
Left on read
Prospect 06
Identity withheld
Respectfully declined
0
Confirmed Partners
143
Introductions Ignored
∞
Optimism
Partnership inquiries are welcome and will be handled with precisely the enthusiasm we were shown.
10Contact
Get in touch.Or don’t.
We might not reply. But we’ll definitely read your message. Eventually.
